


to build a home

by stylinsofab



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Bipolar Disorder, But I promise i'll make it cute, Cute, Depression, Drug Abuse, Eating Disorder, Eventual Smut, Fluffy, Friends to Lovers, Harry just really is whipped, I promise, M/M, Mental Hospital, Over Louis, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Suicidal Thoughts, This sounds really sad, suicidal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-18
Updated: 2014-11-18
Packaged: 2018-02-26 03:20:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2636132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stylinsofab/pseuds/stylinsofab
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry studied this pale, blue eyed boy and wondered how someone so beautiful could look so sad. He'd give anything to see a smile, Harry thinks. There's something about this mysterious boy that makes Harry just want to know every single detail of his life and how much he really wants to be in it too. It's like a puzzle, you have to fix it to make it right again. Right now, Louis is a whole bunch of separated puzzle pieces anxious to be put back together. Oh, How honored Harry would be honored to be that person to help him be okay and right again. Louis looked up at Harry staring at him, and frowned.</p>
<p>"You don't smile much, do you Louis?"</p>
<p>"I just forgot how to, I guess."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> BEFORE YOU READ!!!
> 
> IN NO WAY AM I MOCKING ANY OF THE DISORDERS OR TERMS MENTIONED IN THIS FANFICTON. THIS IS PURELY *FANFICTION* AND ITS NOT REAL. I DONT WANT THIS BEING TAKING OFFENSIVELY IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM. ALSO I DONT WANT THIS TO TRIGGER ANYONE SO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!! IF YOU GET TRIGGERED EASILY I WANT YOU TO NOT READ THIS.
> 
> this is my first time writing a fic on au and I hope I do ok.

Harry knew he needed help, It wasn't something that wasn't obvious. The way his bones would show more then his skin, it wasn't healthy. The numbers on the scale started rapidly decreasing, and Harry actually felt _proud._ He felt like he got more attractive each time his weight would drop. Insecure; is an understatement. _Its only just a diet,_ Harry would think everyday as his head pounded and everything around him started spinning fast. Once his mother started commenting on his weight loss, Harry knew he needed a way better job at hiding his little diet. Unfortunately for Harry, he wasn't very well at hiding things.

All Harry remembers was walking down some stairs to his night class, and then everything spinning. After that, though, he remembers nothing. Waking up to a hospital with your sister and mother crying is never a good thing though. "Why didn't you tell us?" His mum choked through her sobs, a hurt look lingering in her eyes. A pit of guilt laid in Harrys stomach because his diet was never meant to make anyone hurt. All he wanted was to lose a couple of pounds. According to the doctor, it was way more then a couple of pounds. "Mr.Styles, Your healthy weight is supposed to be 150 pounds. You're 103 pounds sir" He said with a disapproving look, shaking his head at the results on his clip board. A little gasp escaped from Gemma, his sister, mouth.

So off to Levingtons Mental Hospital he goes, to get better. There was lots of hugs and tears when saying goodbye to Harry, because family couldn't visit until two weeks from the day he's arriving. "Are you sure you're not mad at mum and I?" Gemma asks, wiping away some tears. Harry frowns, "You guys are doing it for the best. I'm not mad for you guys sending me to Levington" He says with a reassuring smile and pulls his older sister into a hug. Some big men put Harrys suitcases in the trunk and they drive away. Within only a span of a week, craziness has happened. Harry has always believed that family comes first, no matter what. He's doing this more so for his families sake, not his own.

 

"Levington Hospital. Good luck, kid" One of the big men say, opening the enterance to tall grey building with a long metal fence around it. It could've been a prison, for all Harry knew. "Thanks" Harry mumbled, thankful he left out the 'Mental' in his greeting. Taking in the hospital and embracing it, Harry hopes this was a good idea. "Check in, over here!" A tall lady with blonde hair calls, kicking Harry out of his thoughts.

After a long process of checking in, and a tour, Harry finally sees his new room. Its small with two beds, plain white walls, and one big wooden dresser in between the two grey beds. He wonders who his roommate is, but not worrying about that right now. Harry decides on going to check out the 'Hang out' area, is what the workers call it. A flat screen tv hangs on the wall, and two huge couches with some people watching whatever shit channel is on. There's some tables with board games, and a few vending machines. There's not much but Harry thinks its enough.

Suddenly a petite, pale boy with the lightest of brown hair strolls in to the area. Harry thinks he's breathtakingly beautiful. The boy sits at an empty table by himself, and gets out a book. He looks drained out and sad, under eye circles dragging on his face. Harry still thinks he's precious. The cheek bones this kid has is unreal, Harry thinks. Time to make a new friend,Harry smiles to himself. He walks over to the boy and sits next to him. The small boy glances up and Harry almost drops dead by how gorgeous his blue eyes were. "I'm Harry." He greets, smiling a friendly smile. 

"Okay." The boy simply says and goes back to reading his book.

Harry scrunches his nose and shifts a little his chair nervously. "Aren't you going to tell me your name?" He suggests to the quiet boy. "Louis." He sighs. "Lovely name" Harry grins, hoping to receive a friendly smile back. Louis groans and slams his book shut, looking back up to Harry. "If you've come over here to laugh at me or mock me, then please leave" He says sharply and the curly haired boy frowns. 

"No, of course not. Just trying to make a friend" He says sincerely to Louis, and Louis raises his eyebrow high. "Why me? There's plenty of other lonely people in this room." Louis frowns, and Harry hates him frowning. "You're the most breath taking out of all those other lonely people" Harry smirks, seeing Louis' cheeks get red.. "Flattered" Louis scoffs sarcastically and starts to read his book again.

Harry studied this pale, blue eyed boy and wondered how someone so beautiful could look so sad. He'd give anything to see a smile, Harry thinks. There's something about this mysterious boy that makes Harry just want to know every single detail of his life and how much he really wants to be in it too. It's like a puzzle, you have to fix it to make it right again. Right now, Louis is a whole bunch of separated puzzle pieces anxious to be put back together. Oh, How honored Harry would be honored to be that person to help him be okay and right again. Louis looked up at Harry staring at him, and frowned. 

"You don't smile much, do you Louis?"

"I just forgot how to, I guess." Harry forms a dreadful look, heart dropping at that. Harry needs to know more about this boy. He will stop at nothing to make him happy.


	2. two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it would mean everything if you shared this story xxx

 

Harry knew from the moment Louis told him he's forgotten how to smile, his goal was to make this sad boy smile. Harry bets its beautiful, his smile, and makes Louis shine so bright. Harry got up and decided to give Louis some alone time, Seeing he's not wanted. Louis, however, felt a little bit of a heart ache when this new cheery boy got up and left. Nobody has ever wanted to be Louis' friend, he only had one and that was Zayn. Zayn was his roommate, and was stuck in the looney bin because of past drug abuse and had a near death experience with it. He seems to understand Louis, and knows how to make his day a little better. Louis wasn't complaining about only having one friend, he wasn't very good at the whole 'meeting new people' thing.

Louis had been alone for most of his life, and its his comfort zone. Louis did want to know more about Harry though, shockingly. It was difficult to hide the blush rising on his cheeks as this emerald eyed boy just stared at him. He wondered why Harry was in here, what could he have done? He seems so cheery, and friendly. Most people in this dreadful place are usually quiet or just looking horrible all the time. "Louis?" A staff member called his name, Louis shook away his thoughts. "Time for your session" She said, motioning for him to go see the therapist. There's two therapist in the building, working on patients and seeking them to get better. Most people get out within a span of a couple of months, but not Louis.

He's been in the plain prison for a year and a half, not being able to get better. Louis walked into Dr. Standfords office, sitting down on the black leather couch and facing a serious faced man. "How has your day been so far Louis?" He asked, getting out a pen and notepad. Louis has always hated sessions, especially when he was to go twice a day. Once in the morning and once before bed. Expressing feelings was just not something he liked to do. "Fine, I'm still trying to finish a book" He sighs, and the doctor nods. "And, there's this new boy who said hi to me.." Louis mumbled, Dr. Standfords eyebrows raised highly. He was used to Louis only having Zayn as a friend, nobody else. "That's great! What's his name?" He asked Louis, writing down some notes. "Harry." Louis stated, chewing on his lip nervously as the doctor wrote things down.

"Oh! Mr. Styles, A new patient here. I have him as one of my clients as well." The doctor smiled. "What is he in here for?" Louis asked, but Standford frowned. "That's confidential, Louis. You know this. But maybe you should get to know him better?" He suggested, Louis groaned. Meeting new people was to hard for Louis; his trust issues were unreal. "Maybe" Louis shrugged.

After an hour talking about thoughts and feelings, The bell for lunch rang and he caught up with Zayn. "Hey mate" Zayn smiled at him, Louis waved and they started walking towards the cafeteria together. "I met someone today" Louis started up a conversation, Zayn looked at him curiously. "Who?" The black haired boy asked, knowing Louis wasn't very much a people person. "His name is Harry. Harry Styles. He said hi to me first, it was weird" Louis shrugged. Zayn nodded at that, leaving the conversation there as they grabbed their trays and put the decent tasting food onto the grey plates.

As for Harry, he didn't even want to _know_ if the food was good or not. He hasn't had a complete meal in days and staring at the corn, mashed potatoes, and chicken resting on his tray; he feels sick. He stares down at it, watching the steam blow off of it and frowning. He can't do this. After a diet of just water and a few grapes a week, Harry's body wasn't used to a meal this big. Though his stomach was screaming for Harry to just take one bite, missing the feeling of food in its stomach. "Are you gonna watch it or are you gonna eat it?"  A familiar voice was heard and he turned to see Louis, and some kid with olive tanned skin with some dark black hair. "Ermm" Harry mumbles awkwardly, looking from Louis to the food. Louis squints, confused at Harry squirming so uncomfortably and then face softens when he realizes. "Oh" Louis says, "Eating disorder?" He asks and Harry just nods.

"The foods actually good here" Louis' friend says, smiling warmly at Harry. "Im Zayn" He greets, "Harry" He greets back, smiling as well. "You don't have to" Louis whispers, looking from the food to Harry. "Its the only way to get better" Harry gulps, picking up a plastic fork. "Don't force yourself if you're not ready, Harry" Louis frowns, and Harry slightly flutters at how concerned Louis sounds. 

"I'm okay." He assures Louis, picking up a piece of chicken and hesitating before taking a bite. He chews slowly, feeling Zayn and Louis' eyes on him. A unfamiliar taste forms in Harrys mouth, and swallows the chicken slowly. I _can do this_ , Harry thinks to himself before taking another bite. It was hard trying to push the thoughts of him gaining weight out of his head, but Louis seemed to make it easier by sending a half smile, encouraging Harry. "Cheers" Zayn grins, raising his cup and clinking it with Harry and Louis'.

"I'm in here for drug abuse," Zayn tries to spark some conversation, "Found me lying in the streets with pills in my hand as I seizured half way to death" He explains. Harrys face softens, giving a sympathetic look. "I'm sorry" He says, meaning it sincerely. "Its okay, I've been here for a couple of months and I seem to be doing better. Although missing my pills make it a little hard" He laughs, trying to make a joke to lighten the mood.

"I didn't eat for some weeks and passed out at my uni, woke up in a hospital and then sent here" Harry chuckles, shaking his head in disbelief. Louis stayed quiet though, not sharing any sort of information and Harry was okay with that. Harry would wait forever to get to know Louis better, he was worth it. They all spent the lunch getting to know each other better but when the topic of family came about, Louis stayed quiet and listened to the other two. Harry did notice and he just wanted to kiss those pink lips to make it all better, to make his sad expression turn into a happy one.

They all went their separate ways after lunch, Harry heading to meet his therapist and Louis catching up on his book, Zayn just went to see someone named Liam. The therapist was nice, Harry thought. He wasn't to pushy to make Harry express his feelings and he used kind words. He didn't know how to feel about it though, because Harrys never been to therapy before and the thought of talking to a complete stranger about personal things sounded insane.

Harry headed to his room, finding a blonde boy sitting on the other bed and reading a magazine article. "Erm, Hello" Harry greets, seeing his roommate for the first time. The boy looks up, face tightening and eyes getting dark. "Who the fuck are you?" He shouts, standing up and charging towards Harry. Harry winced and frowned, "I'm- I'm your new roommate!" He explains. Within a second, the boys face brightens and a wide friendly grin spreads on his face. "Harry?! Sorry mate, thought you were an intruder of privacy! I'm Niall!" He takes Harrys hand, and shakes it quickly. Harry was taken back by what just happened, but went along with it.

"Nice to meet you" Harry says politely, sitting on his hard bed. "Liking this place so far?" Niall asks, still smiling wide at Harry. "Its nice. I met a few people" Harry nods, smiling to himself at the thought of beautiful Louis. "Really who? I might know 'em" Niall asks, eager to find out. "Some kid named Zayn, and Louis." Harry answers, Nialls eyebrows lift. "I know Zayn! Such a great lad, but Louis Tomlinson doesn't really talk to anyone" The irish boy frowns, and Harry knows. He hates how Louis doesn't talk much because his voice is so soft and lovely. "Do you know more about Louis?" Harry hopes Niall does, biting his lip. "Got a crush?" Niall wiggles his eyebrows, smirking. A deep shade of red appears on Harrys cheeks, and he shakes his head. "Well, He's been here a very very long time. Longer then someone usually should be. Rumors say he tried to kill himself but no one knows for sure" Niall shrugs, forming a sad look at the thought.

Harrys heart drops, tears form in his eyes. The thought of Louis not existing was just such an overwhelming feeling of pain and sadness. Louis deserved to be happy and he deserved to breathe everyday and love life, Harry thought to himself. _God, I just want to hug him so tightly,_ Harry thinks to himself and throws his attention back to Niall. "That's upsetting" Harry says, sad look stained on his face. "I know, He seems nice though." Niall shrugs.

Harry went to bed that night, making a list of things that could make Louis smile. He didn't know why, but Harry was so interested in this broken boy and wanted nothing more then to see a glimse of light spread across his face one day. Harry wanted Louis to have a lifetime of happiness, joy, and enjoyment. He wanted Louis to wake up everyday and excited for the new day. Harry wanted to make that happen for him. He will, it has to be done.

 

**Author's Note:**

> probably posting second chapter tomorrow (: sorry for typos I rushed. @gorgeouslwt is my twitter.


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